Mrs. X is the wife of a nationally syndicated Conservative TV host (you can’t avoid him!). She came to my office this morning with a serious problem: she caught her husband cheating. She had read his text messages and was terribly upset.
Mrs. X needed to talk before her acupuncture treatment. She sat on my sofa, crossed her lovely, toned legs and wiped away a tear. She said, “I was so surprised when I found that romantic message on my husband's phone, I nearly fainted!”
Mrs. X said, “This is unforgivable behavior from a man who lectures to the entire nation about Family Values!”
"What I’m hearing," I said, "is that you can’t tolerate him being a complicated and imperfect human being."
Mrs. X stared at her shoes and frowned. They were gold buckled Gucci pumps from three seasons ago and frankly, I would have frowned too. She said, “And worst of all, he’s been carrying on with our nanny. How unimaginative!”
"What I’m hearing," I said, burping up a delicious risotto con fungi porcini from Il Cielo, “is that you had hoped your husband would show more imagination than you do. By the way, are you still carrying on with your pool boy?”
“What?” she said, hearing me for the first time. “What did you say, Charles?”
“I said, how is it going with you and the pool boy?”
“Oh Jesus!” she said. “Thanks for reminding me! I’m supposed to meet him at the house at one o’clock. I’m giving him a brand new BMW and I need to get there early to surprise him. Gotta run! Sorry!” She stood up and bolted out the door, tossing a wad of cash my way.
“Take your time!“ I called to her, hoping Mrs. X wouldn’t get to the house too terribly early. I'd hate for her to catch the pool boy with the nanny.
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